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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Ross Rambles: Striving for pretty goodness

Thursday, March 24, 2005

I don't really care for taking extreme positions on anything. I recently commented to a member of Pheasants Forever that I could never belong to such an organization, although I would consider belonging to an organization with the name Pheasants For A Long, Long Time.

Similarly, I would forgo membership in Ducks Unlimited in favor of an organization named Ducks Fairly Unrestricted.

I happen to belong to PRETA, People for the Reasonably Ethical Treatment of Animals. Unlike the militantly vegetarian PETA people, PRETA people eat meat from animals that died of natural causes or as unintentional traffic fatalities.

We also will eat meat that is surgically removed from animals without killing the animal. I understand that one PRETA farm produces chicken legs, only left legs from chickens that are later fitted with prosthetic devices.

Instead of buying a CD with a collection of a band's Greatest Hits, I look for the harder to find Most Average Works collection.

I've always avoided being first or last in anything.

Whenever I find something I'm looking for, I always look in a couple more places so the item won't have been found in the last place I look, like people say it will be.

As the youngest in my family, I needed to invent an imaginary younger brother, Egbert, in order to not be the last born. Unfortunately, Egbert was psychotic and didn't like me very much.

I suppose this isn't a great column but that's fine with me.