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Thursday, Apr. 28, 2016

Ross Rambles: Mailbox rapture

Monday, August 8, 2005

The other day I got a personal letter from Robert Kennedy Jr. It said so right on the front of the large envelope, "A Personal Letter From Robert Kennedy, Jr."

It was great hearing from Robert. I have to confess that I was under the impression that he didn't know I existed. I should have known better.

He wanted me to sign a petition opposing something President Bush is doing. I didn't quite understand what he was talking about or why Bush shouldn't be doing it but if my pal Robert says he shouldn't, that's good enough for me.

That wasn't the only good thing that came in the mail that day. I was notified by not one, but two credit card companies that I have been preapproved for their cards, not the measly gold cards or even the platinum ones but the enriched uranium cards.

Well that suits me just fine. My present credit card companies haven't been all that friendly lately. All they do is send letters saying "gimme, gimme, gimme." To heck with them.

To further add to my mail opening joy, I was informed that I could get a free electronic organizer that will transform my life by getting it organized electronically, something I've desperately needed to do. And just for sending away for this marvelous piece of technology, I get nine magazine subscriptions at 60 PERCENT OFF THE COVER PRICE!!!

But that's not the best thing I got in the mail that day. I was informed how I can send away for information that will allow me to earn up to $1,000 a day WITHOUT EVEN LEAVING MY HOME! I'll find out how I can do this when I get the information made available at huge savings through a limited time offer. Whatever it is, it's fun and easy to do.

I figure if I'm willing to settle for $500 a day, I won't even have to leave my bed.

Gosh, some days it sure pays to get the mail.