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Friday, Apr. 29, 2016

Ross Rambles

Monday, December 19, 2005

Cookies make fine holiday tradition

We recently received an email from an unknown author about the best Christmas cookies ever.

Unfortunately, this arrived too late to include with the Christmas cookie recipes that appeared in the Wednesday Chronicle Times.

That's a shame, not having the BEST Chistmas cookie recipe EVER in our paper, so I've decided to use this space for that purpose.

You might have already seen the recipe, which has been making the rounds on the Internet. I claim no credit for it.

The recipe violates my general rule requiring that recipes have no more than three ingredients (preferably fewer), but it really is a great recipe.

Cuervo Cookies

1 cup of water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup of sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup of brown sugar

Lemon juice

4 large eggs

1 cup nuts

2 cups of dried fruit

1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK. Try another cup just in case.

First, turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS