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Thursday, Apr. 28, 2016

Stuck Strikes Out: Well, I'll be dog gone!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

As if this should even need to be brought up.

But, what the hay. I haven't been publicly flogged for eons... months even. Mr. and Mrs. Fanatical Pet Lover, somewhere out there in your anal oblivion of animal dependency and selfish disrespect for all others' space, LISTEN UP!

From this day forward, no pets are permitted at events sanctioned by the Iowa High School Athletic Association, or the Iowa Girls High School Athletic Union. Hip-hip hooray, Cheerio, Bully, and right on, Baby!

According to reports, the official action from both Iowa athletic governing bodies came about after last fall's State Cross Country Meet at a Fort Dodge golf course. It appears too many spectating, pet-owning nincompoops, as always oozing with their obvious disdain for the comfort and safety of others, brought dogs to the meet which resulted in some bites, dog fights, growls, scared children and adults, and stinking canine doo-doo and wee-wee all over the course.

This was the final straw for the IHSAA and IGHSAU after having received various complaints at similar events through the years and not acting on them. Now, according to both associations, any persons found with a pet at an event will be removed from the premises.

I would hope that the removal process of such selfish, look-at-me-world fools would also include pepper spray, whips, chains, and really big boots on a really big cop who envisions the perps' rear end a bulls-eye.

Of course the new pet ban does not affect any disabled folks with an assistive animal, such as a seeing-eye dog, or guide dog. God love them and those they help to cope.

I have relatives who would bring to family gathering their insidious pets - usually those small, nipping, smelly, furry little dogs with bad breath and underbites that could scrape the frosting off a pack of Oreos in minutes. Once there, they let "Elvis," or "Ginger," or "Brandy" have free roam, the spoiled little ass licking your plate, your drink, or your baby, and humping the leg of anyone not paying attention.

And the stupid, brain-dead pet owner sits and smiles and says "How cute." Another relative had a caustic, evil cat that would hide and then jump out and bite you on the foot or ankle. During one visit, it jumped out and bit my 3-year-old son hard enough that it drew blood, left marks, and him crying for a half hour. From that day on, whenever we would visit that relative, I took my pleasure out of hunting down and slapping the spit out of that satanic feline whenever it jumped out to bite me. After a few visits, when it even heard my car coming in to town, the cat would hide away completely, never again biting anyone.

They eventually gave the vile animal to a farmer to be used as a "mouser." I still pray today that the mice are winning.

Of course, now I can see some jerks full of a sense of entitlement trying to sneak their pets into certain events by staying in the back row, concealing their "little darlings" in their jackets, or hiding by a tree or bush. I urge the IHSAA and IGHSAU to please not tolerate such violators for they are the bane of honest, thoughtful pet owners who enjoy their animals in the privacy of their own homes or yards, and who do not "force" them on relatives or the public. One more thing, IHSAA and IGHSAU, have you ever thought of sanctioning family get-togethers?