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Thursday, May 5, 2016

Basic Biittner : Thoughts on Motherhood

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

I came across the following piece recently, and was going to save it for next year's Mother's Day. However, my daughter is a new mother (now one year, but that's still fairly new), and my own mother recently passed away. So, in honor of them, and in my mother's memory, I share it here with you readers.

God Didn't Make Perfect Mothers

(author unknown)

"May I go now?" the almost completed, eager mother asked.

"Not yet. There are essential parts and finishing touches to be added," her Maker replied.

"I look pretty good to me," she said, peering into the crystal pool at her feet.

"True, you are looking better all the time. But bear with me."

"What does a mother have to do, God, besides wash, feed, and clothe little bodies?"

God only smiled, and continued working.

"What are you doing now?" the curious mother-to-be questioned.

"Tightening your Anger Valve. If this doesn't work, everyone is in trouble."

She watched as He reached for the container marked "Patience."

"And what do I need patience for?" she asked, as He poured in quite a supply.

"After a week, you will know, my child."

"And whatever could that be?" she asked.

"This is your Bypass Mechanism. It enables a mother to operate efficiently for

long periods of time without compliments from her children."

"I'm sure I won't need that."

"I'm sure you will."

Then God reached for a bundle labeled "Insulation from loud noises."

"You can skip that," she told him. "I don't mind a little noise."

"That's nice," He said.

Seeing all the Energy He was preparing to give her, she shifted uneasily from one foot

to the other

"I wouldn't need all that energy in a million years."

"Little you know. You will use all of this, and be begging for more before long."

"I didn't know there was so much involved in being a mother. You're not just putting

me on, are you?"

"No, little mother."

With much apprehension, she said, "Are you sure I can handle the job?"

"Quite sure…with help. I'm always available when you need me."

"I'm glad to know that. What could I possibly need all these for?"

"A certain amount of Pain, so that you will be fully equipped to sympathize with, and

minister to, the needs of your children when they feel pain; Tears, so that you will be

able to cry with them when they are hurt; and Laughter to blend with theirs for happy times."

The mother-in-waiting fidgeted while God attached YES and NO buttons.

"Wouldn't it be nicer just to say 'yes' to my children all the time?"

"Definitely not. Good mothers need to say 'no-' and often. Say it with kindness, and they

will respect you for it."

"Have you equipped me with this thing called Kindness, Lord?"

"I have indeed."

And what about Respect? Do I have to respect my children?"


The anxious mother tried to be patient as God installed a Question Answerer, Advice Giver, Get along Get along without sleep, and a Pretender Not to Notice.

"I know I wouldn't use one of those!" she said, as God came towards her with a Let-Go lever.

"Sure you will, though it's not hard. This is a vital piece of equipment. Until this little lever is released, your children will not have room to grow properly, make their own decisions, or develop their own personalities."

"I guess that is important."

God stood back a few steps to appraise his work, then reached for a Coat of Love and wrapped

It around her. "Wear this at all times," God said, "and you'll be a good mother."

"Am I ready now, God, to get on with the mothering bit?"

"You can go now," God said gently ."You're not perfect, but you'll do."

Dan Whitney
Basic Biittner