When I was a boy, I was really into baseball cards - Topps, in those early days - and loved the smell - and the taste, brief though it was - of the pink rectangle of gum that accompanied every pack of cards. Then there was putting cards ("extras" of non-stars) in the spokes of my bicycle, so I could pretend I was riding a "hog" (of course, we didn't call motorcycles that in those days). Trading cards was also a possibility, and I still remember my friend Dave Hodam (yes, he's still my friend, though he was on my 'fecal roster' for a few days after this transaction) conning me into trading him, even-up, my brand-new 1957 Mickey Mantle card for a 1956 Don Larsen because, after all, Larsen just threw a perfect game in the World Series, you know.

I digress. My favorite part of baseball cards was perusing (often) the backs of the cards, where all the stats were. I could spend hours comparing a player's year-to-year stats (not to mention his birthdate and birthplace). I know - "get a life," right? Those of you who know me well probably have no doubt that I did this - "Mr. Trivia" had to be created somewhere, right?

Anyway - I have listed below the career stats of the greatest Major Laeague hitter and the greatest Major League pitcher of the last twenty years, because both of their careers have apparently ended - with a wimper, not the bang with which these sort of stats are normally accompanied in the press. At this point, it's looking like you won't see any of these stats on a Hall of Fame plaque soon, either, so, "as a public service," here are the career stats of Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens. Sad.

BARRY LAMAR BONDS

born 7/24/64 in Riverside,CA Height: 6-2; Weight: 240

Bats: Left Throws: Left Major League Debut: 5/30/86

College: Arizona State 1996

YR TEAM G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI TB BB SO SB CS OB SL BA

1986 Pitt 113 413 72 92 26 3 16 48 172 65 102 36 7 .330 .416 . 223

1987 Pitt 150 551 99 144 34 9 25 59 271 54 88 32 10 .329 .492 .261

1988 Pitt 144 538 97 152 30 5 24 58 264 72 82 17 11 368 .491 .283

1989 Pitt 159 580 96 144 34 6 19 58 247 93 93 32 10 .351 .426 .248

1990 Pitt 151 519 104 156 32 3 33 114 293 93 83 52 13 .406 .565 .301

1991 Pitt 153 510 95 149 28 5 25 116 262 107 73 43 13 .410 .514 .292

1992 Pitt 140 473 109 147 36 5 34 103 295 127 69 39 8 .456 .624 .311

1993 SF 159 539 129 181 38 4 46 123 365 126 79 29 12 .458 .677 .336

1994 SF 112 391 89 122 18 1 37 81 253 74 43 29 9 .426 .647 .312

1995 SF 144 506 109 149 30 7 33 104 292 120 83 31 10 .431 .577 .294

1996 SF 158 517 122 159 27 3 42 129 318 151 76 40 7 .461 .615 . 308

1997 SF 159 532 123 155 26 5 40 101 311 145 87 37 8 .446 .585 .291

1998 SF 156 552 120 167 44 7 37 122 336 130 92 28 12 .438 .609 .303

1999 SF 102 355 91 93 20 2 34 83 219 73 62 15 2 .389 .617 .262

2000 SF 143 480 129 147 28 4 49 106 330 117 77 11 3 .440 .688 .306

2001 SF 153 476 129 156 32 2 73 137 411 177 93 13 3 .515 .863 .328

2002 SF 143 403 117 149 31 2 46 110 322 198 47 9 2 .582 .799 .370

2003 SF 130 390 111 133 22 1 45 90 292 148 58 7 0 .529 .749 .341

2004 SF 147 373 129 135 27 3 45 101 303 232 41 6 1 .609 .812 .362

2005 SF 14 42 8 12 1 0 5 10 28 9 6 0 0 .404 .667 .286

2006 SF 130 367 74 99 23 0 26 77 200 115 51 3 0 .454 .545 .270

2007 SF 126 340 75 94 14 0 28 66 192 132 54 5 0 .480 .565 .276

Career Tot 2986 9847 2227 2935 601 77 762 1996 5976 25581539 514 141 . 444 .607 .298

WILLIAM ROGER CLEMENS

born: 8/4/62 in Dayton, OH Height: 6-4 Weight: 235

Bats: Right Throws: Right Major League Debut: 5/15/84

College: Texas