We always talk about prep sports and athletes, and the games they play, but what about their hectic social lives? Here's one of the most frequent questions asked:
I'm going steady with a real pretty cheerleader, but I think maybe she doesn't like me anymore. How can I tell?
When you go to pick her up for your date and she ain't there, you melon head. Other tell-tale signs you know the love is gone are:
*She has started grabbing the biggest pizza slice with the most toppings, and eating all the french fries when you go out to eat.
*Given the fact that in public women always go to the bathroom in pairs and she starts going to the bathroom with the bouncer.
*At the intermission of a school dance, you catch her in a serious lip-lock in the hallway with another boy and she tells you it's just her dentist's son and he was polishing her braces.
*She says "Whatever" to you about 1,000 times a day.
*You tell her how much you like her new hair do and she runs to her beautician the next day and changes it.
*Just about every other boy in school has one of her pom-poms in his locker.
*You go out with her on Sadie Hawkins Day and you have to buy.
*You take her to the prom, she excuses herself to go get some punch and then you see her in the Grand March with another guy.
*She has another boy's class ring - on every finger.
*She says "Whatever" to you about 1,100 times a day.
*On her night out with the girls, you see her car at the dentist's kid's house.
*You score the game-winning basket at the buzzer and while everyone in the gym goes crazy hoisting you on their shoulders, she sits quietly in the bleachers staring into a mirror and applying her makeup.
*On the way home, you ask her what she thought of the game and she says, "Whatever."
*You give her an expensive birthstone for Valentine's Day and she throws it in the box with her kid brother's rock collection.
*You tell her how beautiful she is in the moonlight and she says, "Whatever."
*Her family invites you over for dinner and they eat steaks and give you a hotdog. No ketchup. Moldy bun.
*You give her an expensive CD collection for Christmas and she uses them for soft-drink coasters.
*You pay her a surprise visit and find her in her folks' hot tub in a bikini getting her braces polished again by that dentist's kid.
*You compliment her on her shiny clean braces and she says, "Whatever."
*On your way out of the hot tub room you accidentally drop a plugged-in hair dryer in the water. And as the electricity fills the air and your ex-girl and the dentist's kid smolder in loving embrace, you hop in your car and drive off into the sunset a free man, knowing full well there are many more games to win and lots of other cheerleaders out there.
Without braces and whatever.