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Sunday, Dec. 21, 2014

Letterman's own Top 10 List

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

We've all heard the news about the guy who was allegedly trying to extort $2 million from CBS late night talk show host David Letterman for having sexual relationships with female employees, charges that Letterman has publicly admitted to.

What we don't know is why Letterman's female employees are anxious to have sex with him in the first place?

With that in mind, we have fashioned a Top 10 List of why David Letterman's female employees are anxious to have sex with him:

(10) They pity him because he has never, ever had a good hair day.

(9) Working without the services of his talented writers' one-liners that have carried him to tops in late night comedy, the only one-liner Letterman can come up with on his own is, "Sure, I'll call you in the morning."

(8) His ATM Card has no limit.

(7) They all want to see who can be the first to knock his white socks off.

(6) He began his TV career as a weatherman and well knows what it takes to overcome an occluded front.

(5) Their arousal is heightened by his bedside stupid pet tricks.

(4) They all want to make his personal Top 10 List.

(3) Ellen Degeneres is spoken for.

(2) He graduated from Ball State for heaven's sake!

And, the number one reason why David Letterman's female employees are anxious to have sex with him?

(1) Paul Shafer's Viagra prescription has lapsed.