"This is why we can never have nice things" was the first words that echoed in my head when I saw that the Chronicle Times Scarecrow was gone.
These familiar words are of course from my mother who like most mothers out there have uttered from time to time when their children break or damage something important to them.
For those of you not familiar with the story of our scarecrow, let me share.
Last month we here at the office entered the Cherokee Chamber of Commerce's Scarecrow Contest. I thought it would be something fun for us at the office to do.
Its not too often that we at the Chronicle Time get to participate in community functions like the Scarecrow Contest or Christmas Parade, Festival of Trees, Hot Dog Days. We mostly cover those events and that's that.
But this year we pooled our resources and after tens of minutes of work, we produced a mighty fine scarecrow. In fact we got third place in the Scarecrow Contest. It brought a lot of joy to us at the office for our efforts.
Even prior to the contest we weighed the pros and cons of having the scarecrow outside of our building because we knew that there was a chance of it disappearing.
I knew the odds of some reveler taking it home and doing unmentionable things to the scarecrow was high. I know how drinkers think, being that I've been in those shoes before, and it's an easy fit for me to stagger in their foot steps.
Despite the danger, we here at the office decided to put our trust in our fellow man. Of course we got burned for that effort but it has strengthened my resolve to find our scarecrow.
Sure it's a long shot - he may be in the back of some car or lying in a shallow grave.
I've already talked to Boothby Funeral Home and they haven't seen anything yet, so that's a good sign.
I would like to address the culprits of this foul deed and ask them one question. How dumb are you?
This is a small town and your action will not go unnoticed. Maybe not tomorrow or next week but someday a person will come up to me and tell me who you are. It may be your best friend, your wife or even your mother, who can't take the guilt of what her child has done who spills the beans on you. But rest assured, I will find you.
I mean you took it from a newspaper and you don't think that we know how to find people? There are cameras pointed at you that you don't even know about and people who have seen you and the scarecrow together and the word will get back to me.
So you now have to ask yourself, "was it worth it to steal this scarecrow? Is it worth the public humiliation that I'm going to receive?" I'm a reasonable man. I will give you a chance to put it back before I come for you.
I'm not going to find you because I can, but for the fact that I'm going to do this for my fellow co-workers who were the real victims of your selfish act. They worked hard to participate in a community event to be part of something bigger, and who now feel like it was a waste of time effort because of you.
Personally, I don't care what you did with our scarecrow. If a guy your age wants to keep playing with dolls, well to each his own. Next time just ask. I'm sure someone out there can find you a Barbie Doll to play with.