A friend, who shall remain nameless , sent me these "groaner" puns the other day, and I thought I'd share them with you.
(authors unknown , and probably wouldn't admit to it, anyway)
− The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference, who acquired his size from too much pi.
− I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
− She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
− A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
− No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
− A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
− Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
− A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
− Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
I called these "groaner" puns, because a good pun (or bad, the terms are kind of interchangeable with puns) almost always produces that result from the reader/listener.
If the above weren't enough to satisfy your DGR (Daily Groan Requirement), I'll be glad to throw a few more out there for you :
- Don't justify sin, just defy sin.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
- I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
- I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
- He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
- I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.
- Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- A bicycle can't stand on its own, because it is two-tired.
- Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
- It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
Me, too. I guess I'll just make like a tree and leaf.
Please stop me !!!