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Thursday, May 5, 2016

Basic Biittner: Things I don't want to read about in 2011

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

There are several people and/or events that I read quite enough about in 2010. I promise that, after today, I will not write about the following items in 2011, and I hope that other writers throughout the world will follow suit.

In 2011 (and beyond) :

I only want to read about Brett Favre in the context of his mind-boggling career statistics and football achievements, with the hope that his retirement sticks this time, and he remains retired as he awaits Hall of Fame enshrinement in Canton, Ohio.

I only want to read about Tiger Woods' accomplishments on the golf course - list him among the leaders if he is in that position, but don't do things like listing the first ten leaders, then tacking on Tiger at the end, no matter what place he is in (e.g., 33rd). If you're not singling out other non-leaders, don't single him out, either. After all, he's far from the #1 player in the world at this time.

I only want to read about Lindsay Lohan if she actually appears in a film or t.v. show. From what I understand, she apparently used to be an actress.

I only want to read about "Will and Kate" in a brief description of their wedding ceremony. I don't really care where they spend their holidays, whether they spend them together, or what they had to eat.

I only want to read about Michael Jackson ... well, come to think of it, I don't really want to read anything about "the King of Pop" in 2011. I may listen to some of his music, but not a lot.

Oh - and that Anna Nicole What's-Her-Face, whose "career" in death has far outlasted her career in life. Don't want to read anything about her, either.

Also, as much as I loved their music, their music is the only thing that I want to hear from - and about - John Lennon and Elvis Presley in 2011. John's headlining career lasted 16 years, but he's been dead for 30 years now. Elvis' career in life lasted 22 years, but he has been below the ground for 34 years. Let it go, people.

Just enjoy what they left us for what it's worth - just as you might enjoy the music of Mozart or the films of Humphrey Bogart, Clark Gable and Katharine Hepburn, et al.

That's one of the great things about artists of all kinds - they may be gone, but their work lives on.

Dan Whitney
Basic Biittner