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Monday, May 2, 2016

Basic Biittner : The funny side of getting older

Friday, February 18, 2011

Some people are getting older, they tell me. And some of these people are are quite disturbed by this fact of life.

As for me, as with most things, I prefer to look at the light side of getting older - and there are plenty of humorous writings out there which give one pause.

For example, here are a few samples of ways in which people of my generation have changed their likes and/or desires over the years:

In 1966, we wanted to pass our drivers' test; in 2011, we're more concerned with passing the vision test.

In 1968,we wanted long hair; in 2011, many of us are longing for hair.

In 1968,the word was KEG; in 2011, it is EKG.

In 1968,"Acid rock" was the rage; in 2011, Acid reflux rages.

In 1968,everyone wanted to move to California "because it's cool;" in 2011, many Baby Boomers are moving to Arizona because it's warm.

In 1968, parents were begging us to get our hair cut; in 2011, children are begging parents to get their heads shaved.

In 1968, many were seeking seeds and stems; in 2011, we just want roughage.

In 1968, many were hoping for a BMW; in 2011, many of these same people don't care about the "W" anymore.

In 1968, everyone wanted to go to a new, hip joint; in 2011, many are receiving a new hip joint.

1968, Rolling Stones; 2011, Kidney Stones.

1968, Screw the system; 2011, Upgrade the system.

1975, Disco; 2011, Costco.

You get the idea ... and, in case you don't, here's something else to chew on:

The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1992. Each year, the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin put together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of the year's incoming freshmen.

Here is this year's list -

This year's college freshmen

Are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up; their lifetime has always included AIDS; bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic; the Compact Disc was introduced two years before they were born;

they have always had cable television; they cannot fathom not having a remote control; Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show; popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave; they never took a swim and thought about 'Jaws;' they can't imagine what hard contact lenses are;

they don't know who Mork was, or where he was from; they never heard "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane ..."; they do not care who shot J. R., and have no idea who J. R. even is; they don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

As I said, don't feel bad about getting older, learn to laugh at yourself ... as they used to say in "my day " : "It takes a lot more muscles to frown than it does to smile."

Dan Whitney
Basic Biittner