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Saturday, Apr. 30, 2016

Basic Biittner: What Men Like

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Keeping in mind that there are exceptions to every rule, and that we are all individuals with our own minds, I nevertheless state here and now that, in my experience, there seem to be three types of entertainment (in addition to strip clubs, that is) which seem to appeal almost exclusively to members of the male gender. Guys seem to be major fans of all these things, and gals - for the most part - cannot understand what the heck guys "see in that stuff."

By the way, you'll no doubt notice that the common denominator for all of the things I'll describe below is physical violence.

One of the sources of entertainment to which I am referring is the game of football - that is to say, American football - the one with yard lines, upright goal posts, blocking and tackling, first and tens, and so on. Again, while some women are really into the game, many find it difficult to even comprehend the basics of the game.

A second form of entertainment that seems to be primarily a "man thing" are films or TV shows about the mob, the Mafia, the Syndicate - whatever you choose to call them. Many guys today are huge fans and devotees of "The Godfather," "Goodfellas," or "The Sopranos" tv series. Going back a few years, many of these guys (or their fathers) were also fans of Elliot Ness and the old "The Untouchables" television series. Going back even further, their grandfathers loved the gangsters from the films of Warner Brothers Studios - Jimmy Cagney, Humprey Bogart, George Raft and Edward G. Robinson.

Again, it's pretty hard to find women who are big fans of these films.

And the final area of entertainment which seems to be mostly a "guy thing" are the films of The Three Stooges - Larry, Moe and Curly (or Shemp, or Curly Joe). Women just don't seem to understand the appeal of the subtle humor of the Stooges - the poke in the eye, pulling of ears or hair - or the sly comments like "Nyuk, nyuk" or "soit- enly."

The reason I bring this up is the approaching release, on April 13, of a new film, entitled "The Three Stooges." Unlike previous Stooges films, this one doesn't star the Stooges themselves (they are. after all, long dead). No, this one is actually about the Three Stooges.

The new film is directed by The Farrelly Brothers, Bobby and Peter - the perfect guys to helm a film about the crazy, whacky trio. The Farrellys' previous films include "Kingpin," "Dumb and Dumber," "Stuck On You," "Shallow Hal" and, of course, "There's Something aAbout Mary." Many of which are considered classic films - but mostly by guys. As I said - who better to direct "The Thrree Stooges."

Here are some more particulars about the upcoming film, which at this time is scheduled to premiere in Cherokee on its opening day - April 13 (Friday the 13th, no less). The plot, as if that mattered, is this: While trying to save their childhood orphanage, Moe, Larry, and Curly inadvertently stumble into a murder plot and wind up starring in a reality TV show.

The Stooges are being portrayed by Sean Hayes, of "Will and Grace" fame, who plays Larry; Will Sasso, who played one of the sons on the short-lived TV series "S#*! My Dad Says" and has also been involved in such television shows as "Family Guy" and "Mad TV," plays Curly ; and the Stooge with the short name - Moe - is being played by an actor with a very long name, Chris

Diamantopoulos, who was in the cast of the TV series "Up All Night," has done several voices for the "American Dad" TV series, and played Frank Sinatra in "The Kennedys" mini-series.

Among the other cast members of "The Three Stooges" are 'Glee's' Jane Lynch, who plays Mother Superior; 'Modern Family's' Sofia Vergara, who plays Lydia; Academy Award winner Jennifer Hudson, who plays Sister Rosemary; Larry David ('Curb Your Enthusiasm') who plays Sister Mary-Mengele (no kidding -that's what it says); Brian Doyle-Murray, who plays Monsignor Ratliffe; and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from 'Jersey Shore,' who is apparently playing himself - which is a stretch, I know.

At any rate, 'The Three Stooges' sounds like a perfect date night movie - for a "Guys' Night Out," that is, if they actually had such scheduled events. The film is rated PG for "slapstick action violence (duh!) and some rude and suggestive humor, including language." The run time of the film has not yet been revealed, but I'm guessing it's pretty short to accommodate us guys with our short attentiion spans.

See you at the movies?

Soit-enly!

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Dan Whitney
Basic Biittner