Our politics needs a manure digester pronto

Two guys roam Scheels in West Des Moines, a bromance in the brew.

Zach confides to Bobby that he likes Mepps spinners. Chartreuse.

Bobby goes uh huh.

So cool. Just two guys, doing what they do, fishing for a good time. It’s all over the socials. Trump’s main vaccine fighter, nephew of the former president, with the Republican candidate for governor. Zach says they are “good friends.”

You can almost hear them on the way to the farm pond at St. Mary’s:

“You need crawlers?”

“Nah. Got a dozen in my ear.”

Bobby was legal with a temp license. Puny little gills barely worth the effort in the heat. The catfish get oily and mushy in the warm water. Kinda like gnoshing on bear. Not bad eating if you smoke ’em.

Who knows what fat they chew waiting for a tug on the line?

“Have you heard about the new mRNA vaccine that can fend off melanoma cancer? Pretty scary. It puts you on the spectrum.”

Well they are doing all they can to block it. When you have 11 measles cases (and counting) in Iowa, centered around Clive, you know that the MAHA line is deep into the drink.

Lahn told the Hardin County GOP sweet corn feed that social studies in Iowa public schools take on a “Marxist bent” and he will not countenance it. “There is a battle being waged for these kids’ hearts and minds,” Lahn said. “We cannot cede ground. We have to be in there, to help put the right pieces in place.”

It’s a battle to keep them awake in social studies. An entire generation slept through it and let a fruit like RFK2 slip into the corridors of power.

If zany worked for him, it can work for Zach Lahn. He, too, thinks these vaccines like the one for Covid are suspicious.

Meanwhile, Zach Nunn campaigned for Congress with Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth at the State Fair. They are men. Warriors. They wore aviator shades and did fist pumps. The real warriors aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln were thinking about jumping off while those two clowns sniffed corn dogs. We are losing against a bunch of ayatollahs because Pete Hegseth had no idea what Trump was getting him into. That Zach Nunn would go near him shows how dim he is — to highlight a foreign policy disaster that is driving up fuel prices when many Iowans cannot afford the price of admission to the fair.

Why would Lahn want to hang with a bona fide freaky cat? Is it a real man-crush or is it just a way to lure in the MAHA matriarchy who think that garlic is the best prevention against cancer?

“RFK Jr.’s story is one that I have long admired,” Lahn gushed on X. He said RFK2 is acting in the family tradition. JFK launched the vaccine project that eradicated polio. That is the family tradition, not eating roadkill and forcing warped pseudoscience on school children.

Lahn runs a nice farm at Belle Plaine using conservation agriculture. He calls it regenerative. He says he will take on Big Ag, even though he made his mark with the Koch Brothers.

His opponent, Rob Sand, talked up ag with Tom Vilsack during State Fair week. A manure digester in every pot. We all could use one about now. Trump said he would get our fiscal house in order. The US debt hit $40 trillion with Republicans in control. In Iowa, the annual deficit is over $1 billion under Republican governance. Feed it into the manure digester — we will cut taxes and make you rich — and smell the methane come out the back end.

They wrap themselves in mildewed coattails.

Trump is underwater even in Iowa. Voters are restless and anxious. Ashley Hinson is trying to downplay her fealty to Trump in her Senate campaign. Lahn is in Kennedy’s full embrace. Nunn and Hegseth were partying down while ships are attacked in the Persian Gulf. The boys are gone fishing when there is work to be done.

Lahn revealed no qualms about the paid hecklers from Turning Point USA who tried to run off Sand from the fair. Lahn does not like the insinuation that he lives in Kansas, and says it is an affront to his family. Heckling must be in order.

This sort of stuff will not play well among independent voters filling up the truck. Who thought measles would make a comeback from Clive? It is time to get real, kids. Marxism is not a pressing issue in the classroom. Teachers are not commies. This guy is the Republican nominee who thinks that Bobby has all his lugs tightened. We’re going full oddball in chartreuse.

We need that manure digester ASAP. It’s piling up around us.